Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for the ‘random’ Category

I’m prolonging my lunch hour for as long as humanly possible today so I thought I’d jot some thoughts down, which are ruminating around my brain.

Trust me, none of this is will make you smarter.

Anyhoo. There is a radio station here that I mostly listen to on my way to work each morning – it’s one of those morning shows hosted by like 5 people and one of them (always a guy) has no IDEA how to speak into a microphone, and so he just shouts into it and it’s awkward and I kinda feel for him. The overall show is bad but one girl tells the FUNNIEST jokes so I listen to hear them. Warning: I find puns really funny. Clever, dry English wit: comic genius.   The jokes I find the funniest are the ones in which “normal” people roll their eyes.  You have been warned people, I only tell jokes so I can laugh at them.

  • Joke of the day as heard by me: “What part of the military do babies join??” “..The INFANTRY!!!!!” Is that not awesome??!! I literally laughed and clapped my hands on the road when I heard that one. And have since told everyone I know and now strangers on the Internet. You all are welcome, it was my pleasure.
  • I have been listening Schuyler Fisk’s newish CD on repeat lately. She reminds me of Jenny Lewis big time but with a way more famous mom (Sissy Spacek) and her break up songs are about Joshua Radin, which is kind of fun in a ironic to Radin’s music kind of way.
  • I hated stats in college, hate them even more in grad school when I really dove into it and fear my life for when I go back for that eventual doctoral dissertation. However, I love when people use stats in a user friendly way like 538.com did when explaining when each state could find its’ way to rejecting marriage bans by voter initiative.
  • Also I woke up this morning to Good Morning America every so slyly mentioning that spies have hacked into the United States power grid. As in the grid that controls most of the country’s electricity. I have so many conflicting thoughts on this including why the hell are our power grids connected to the Internet??  There is a chance I could be overreacting to this but remember the blackout in NYC in the summer of 2003? I also believe everything Diane Sawyer tells me so yeah…
  • Finally, I WISH this movie were real. In response to the Where the Wild Things Are trailer which everyone has gone crazy for. I present to you, Everyone Poops. I’m serious!! Watch:
  • And in closing, I can’t be the only one who has downloaded their alma mater’s fight song(s), and listens to it on their iPod, can I? I don’t’ care. I swear listening to it/them makes me run faster.

Last fall I saw Louis CK on Conan O’Brien and he had the most amazing comedic commentary on today’s society. It’s genius and so, so true.

And then youtube took down the clip and I was sad because it totally makes me laugh.

And then I found it randomly again this morning and it makes me so very happy.

Also, I never give anything up for Lent but I think I’m going to give up complaining. Totally insigificant to my life so easy but also very integral to the inner commentary in my head, which will be hard. It’s my own Lenten paradox. It’s actually not true, kinda. I don’t know, Lent is SO confusing, I never have any idea of what to do. Do you punish yourself when you slip up, do you get Sundays free, am I or am I not supposed to not eat meat on Fridays???? I have no idea! I need to take a class on it or something. Clearly you can see how seriously I’ve taken this in the past.

But seriously, I can be pretty negative towards myself and tend to beat myself up over stuff that is stupid and not worth my time and also detrimental to my self-worth at points. So I’m going to stop. And to add Pollyanna to this Lenten season, if I do start to have negative thoughts, I’m going to stop myself and think of something positive.

And when I really want to complain and be negative, I’ll just watch this clip instead:

Update: It looks like you have to go to the post to watch the video. Or just click on the link at the bottom of the RSS feed to see it.  Good to know but I’ll keep the complaints to myself, I have a couple hours.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I’m finally on the good side of this nationwide cold/sinus/flu thing everyone seems to have, well within my facebook friends anyway. (god, how sad is that last part)

Sunday, I came down with it, missing a Super Bowl party and one of my only chances to socialize lately. Boo. Monday was death and Tuesday my boss let me sleep in. Random spurts of decongestant during the day and night and constant use of the Neti-Pot got me better.

One of the joys of moving is discovering how much shit you have and how much shit you have, which is no longer valid. I suppose this isn’t a normal issue but since my shit was in storage for four months, the supply of daytime/nightime cold/sinus medicine I had suddenly expired or was near expiration by the time I needed it this week. (and I hate going out and buying that stuff, I know I’ll need it eventually but it’s like once a year and I have a hard time buying single items that are over $10.00 in a grocery store – this I know I’m not alone and not afraid to admit it, I launched a new product – an automatic shower cleaner and it was $25.00. You know who bought it? Not anyone at grocery stores, that’s for sure. Definitely at Target but not at the grocery. Sorry, marketing digression over)

Bottom line: I had only TWO nighttime pills I could take to try to get better. I only take one at a time anyway because taking two makes me feel woozy the next morning.

I took them Sunday and Monday night.

Sunday night I lay down and try to fall asleep but some jackass somewhere in the building was playing techno music, I could feel the beats of the music vibrate through the walls. I could even hear the songs end and a new one start. I tossed and turned and finally fell asleep. But what the hell? 11:30 at night on a Sunday? I hoped someone called them in, I thought about it but forgot the next day.

Monday night I take a pill again and lay down and once AGAIN, that music started up again. I couldn’t remember if I heard it before I went to bed b/c the TV was on and I wasn’t paying attention. But I had just met my upstairs neighbor when I came home from work that night and she is a crazy bird but I couldn’t see her playing that kind of  music. And at 11:30 at night! Jesus.

I couldn’t sleep. I got up to see where the music was coming from, I was pissed. I went into my living room and opened the back door… and I couldn’t hear a thing. They must have turned it off, I thought and I went back to bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the *bump, bump, bump* of the music started AGAIN. That’s when I started thinking maybe there wasn’t any music and it was just me. But the pill kicked in and I passed out.

Last night, I ran out of pills but the neti-pot was helping me big time so I wasn’t very stuffy any longer and I felt much better so I didn’t go out and buy anything to help at night.

I put my head down on the pillow, at 11:30, same time as the nights before and NOTHING. No music, nothing. The walls were still, my head was clear. NOTHING.

I realize I should probably wait a couple more nights to confirm this but I am confident that the only dance party going on was in my brain. What the hell is IN that stuff?? And how much fun could I have if I take TWO pills like the directions state???!!

I feel like at any moment, I’ll come home from work and Tyler Durden will be making soap on my kitchen counter.

if I find out more about how shitty the economy is from Perez Hilton then anywhere else??

I mean, obviously, I don’t rely on PH for current events but I feel like it’s half celebrity gossip and half “this company is laying off X number of workers”.

Even this messed up economy is ruining my little escape!

I swear there is a Vortex associated with The Notebook and/or Antonement and John Edward: Cross Country (yes, the guy who talks to dead people). I tend to be easily distracted but my non-scientific study has proved these three things can stop me in my tracks and can press pause on my life until they are over.

If this vortex happens on a Sunday, the hold is 10 times stronger. Like cling on a toilet bowl.

So I conveniently went out to my car to look for something in my trunk when the mailman pulled up. He stopped right at me, rather than going to the mailbox and gave me my mail. I used to love running out to the get the mail when I was a kid, so I was already nostalgic.

Then he says to me as he’s sorting for our mail: “Are you enjoying being home?!”

I said something automatic to this response nowadays, implying that I’m interviewing and that it’s nice that I had the chance to come back.

But in my mind was NOT the thought, How the hell does he know this? (although that was next), but rather Wow, I guess mailpeople are really friendly and get to know their people.

It’s amazing how much living in the city has numbed me to everyday activities and such. Kind of like when I got to Indiana and saw houses foreclosed, when all I had seen in Chicago was raising of condos and homeless people for years on end.

It’s nice to be reminded of community, even if this is only temporary.

Also, I have an interview in 45 minutes for a job, I really, really, REALLY WANT. And I have to do a presentation over the phone. I like presentations but over the phone doesn’t quite pack the punch. Still, I’ve been picking out apartments I like in that city super confident for the two weeks leading up to this, but all of a sudden the nerves have KICKED in. Whoa.

Yesterday I was procrastinating and found two cassette tapes in my closet. Both blank tape, one with no writing on it and the other with big letters that said RADIO = MUSIC.

The first tape was basically me reading books aloud (we used to tape record ourselves a lot, especially making prank phone calls (??) ). I know this because at the end I say “Thank you for joining me for story hour”. The tape is quite disturbing. I was a fast talker from the womb, apparently, because you can not understand it at ALL. Really, it doesn’t sound like English even. I have a New York accent despite that not being one of the 4 states I lived in as a kid. and I have a speech impediment. “Thank you vewwree much.” I think I was around 7 or 8.

But the BEST, the BEST is what I recorded over the beginning of story hour. It was Christmas Eve and I was in 5th grade (I know this because I repeated it over and over).

I remember my dad had one of those pocket tape recorders, like Jason Seaver on Growing Pains that he would speak into after he met with patients. It is clear that I used this because I was running all over the house, and a boombox would have been way noticable.

Caught on tape:

– My mom yelling at me to wear a dress (Christmas eve mass, I assume?)

– Me yelling at her that I hated wearing dresses

– Mom yelling more and realizing I could capture this on tape and then document it, I provoked her more.

– Me going through my closet trying to find a different dress to wear

– Me stating that my sister loved when I “beatboxed”

– “Beatboxing” – which just sounds like a lot of spit got on the recorder

– Star wars soundtrack in the background and my analysis of it: “As you can see, there were a lot of violins in this piece and uh…. other stuff”

– Finally this literally is on the tape:

5th grade Me: “Okay, well now I have to go to the bathroom”

5th G Me: “let’s go to the bathroom, shall we?”

5th G Me: “Just have to take off these pants” [with the sound of the zipper in the background] (Also, I somehow managed not to wear a dress!)

[PEE!!!! YOU CAN HEAR ME PEE ON THE TAPE!!]

5th G Me: “Do you hear that?? I’m going pee! Okay?!”

………………………………………………………………………….

What in the hell?? Who AM I?? No wonder my teenage years were so god awful, holy hell!

My friends want me to post the recording on facebook. Not even if I knew how the heck to do that, would I ever. OMG.

Do you see that there? That is the gym in the rec center on campus. See the top where the chairs are all centered around? Tomorrow morning Barack Obama will be standing THERE. And I’m not going. BOO! But like 6000 people got in line and stood for 5 hours and 4000 of them walked away empty handed. But yay for Obama (yes, I’ve made up my mind! It was the speech in Philly several weeks back that did it for me. IN!)

Taking this picture from the balcony this morning was the closest I got. Unfortunately, I was trapped/guiding a group of low income middle schoolers on a day of college awareness so they can start to dream and achieve now and persist through high school and hopefully college.  God bless middle school teachers I have no idea how they do it.

I made a friend with one kid who used his free $5 lunch card to buy 20 packs of gum. His response? “I love Gum.” Um, yes you do. Then I was walking back with another kid and was telling him the first kid really likes gum and he told me that the gum kid “is a huge nerd”. Then I got into a quasi-argument/discussion about how it is okay to be a nerd. I’m pretty sure it ended with me saying “yes it IS!” and the Nerd Hater was all “No, it isn’t!” back and forth and over and over the entire time across the quad.

But I also reassured a little girl that middle school sucks donkey balls and it will only get better from here. I think I made her happy, so I earned my wings (as well as totally LIED!! Because high school can still suck too if you are still socially awkward but let’s hope she outgrows that phase by then).


Synopsis

musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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