Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for the ‘Paging Miss Cleo’ Category

But it’s a small world after all.

Tonight I found out that my past is directly connected to my present, and starting in 2009, what will be my future.

I don’t mean this to be cryptic, and it is much less important in words than in meaning. It has to do with people in my life who are connected to each other, unbeknownst to me until I reconnected with the past someone to let her know about my future.

But more than anything that has happened to me in the last 10 days. My faith is fully restored at levels I didn’t expect for a very long time. It is like I’ve been looking at my life as a map, with roads all over the place, smaller vessels intertwined, connecting the direct cause and effect of past actions. Except there is one major highway, it starts from one side of the map and curves into the middle and its’ mirror image from the other side, neither connecting but they look like they fit together. Tonight, I realized that final bridge, connector, what have you, was put in place and the road is complete.

I’m no longer selfish enough to think that the world revolves around me. In fact, one lesson I’ve learned is that perhaps I should give myself a little but more promenence than I have before.

But tonight, if for just one moment, even if it doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things, I feel the world’s rhythm in sync with my own.  I look forward to more of my major highways on my journey finding their missing connection. I now know they will.

I wouldn’t have changed anything, and that finally, is the point.


My mode of transportation to and from work for the last 6 months has been Metra. It is cleaner, faster, and overall happier than taking the CTA.

However it is quite crowded. I’m only two stops away from work and on my way home I typically stand in the vestibule with about 10 other people – get off at Ravenswood to let the 50% of the train depart get back in the vestibule and head to my stop.

I’ve been known to just hop on the train, and end up at Davis Street because it’s express but for the most part I’ve had a great experience.

Now that the CTA is undergoing hell, my Metra line has added more trains. Yesterday I decided to take one of the additions.

So I’m at my stop and the train pulls up, I get on the in first car and am so happy because the vestibule is empty! I get to stand in the stairwell and gaze at all the houses on my way home.

We start slowing down for Ravenswood stop and I peek in to the two cars adjoining to see how many people are going to get off to see if it is necessary for me to as well. Both cars are EMPTY – like Twilight Zone empty. Then the doors open except for my vestibule. This isn’t totally out of the ordinary b/c frequently Metra announces the first or last car will not open so you have to move.

Well, I’m just looking at these people at the Ravenswood station looking at me (well, maybe they were looking at the closed doors), then moving down the platform to get to an open one. And I start to panic a little. I decide to walk to through the empty car to the doors that divided them (similar to the L cars) to walk through the gangplank to get to the next car so I can be in the one that opens.

I walk through the car and when I open the door to get into the next car – it’s locked and there is this HUGE sheet of metal blocking the entrance into the next car.

I’m totally stuck. The doors don’t open to exit the vestibule and the doors don’t open to get into another car so that I can then exit!! There are no conductors and no emergency buttons (I looked).

So then I walk back to the vestibule and notice the phone that the conductors use to make announcements. I’m thinking that if I have to announce to the entire train that I am stuck in the first car, I’m going to have to.

So I lift the phone – there are no buttons or anyhing that leads me to believe I can communicate with ANYONE. I call my boyfriend to let him know I’m trapped and I start to mentally prepare myself for being stuck until the end of the line. In Kenosha.

Of course R is not answering his phone and I start a little prayer. THEN all of a sudden the doors of one of the cars opens up and it is a CONDUCTOR!!

He must have thought I was crazy. I’m sure the whole “I’m TRAPPED!! I didn’t know how to get out of here. Everything is LOCKED. I love you!!” rant I went on added to this conclusion.

He laughed and walked me back to the formerly locked door where now the HUGE sheet of metal was gone and I got to the vestibule of the next car and exited at my stop.

Holy cow. Was I sweating!! And I still had to pay. But I have a new best friend and I think conductors rule!!

Also another weird thing that happened yesterday:

My co-worker and I went on a break to have a smoke and we walked to the elevator about 40 feet in front of us we saw a person get on the elevator and the doors close but the elevator still said it was on 3, our floor.

I wanted to take the stairs – I mean we’re only on the 3rd floor! My co-worker just pushed the down button for the elevator.

The Elevator doors totally open, because it hadn’t moved – and there is NO ONE inside. I asked her, “Didn’t you see someone enter the elevator? I did”. She confirms that she did and then was like “Is there a back door to this thing?!” We laughed cause there is NOT.

Totally a ghost. Seriously.

I told R the story last night – he does not believe in ghosts or Loch Ness or aliens or anything fun.

Me: “Is that weird…. Like GONE, they were gone.”
R: Yeah, that is weird
Me: [redacted], they were GONE!
R: Okay, it had to be a ghost!!
Me: {sigh} Fine, let’s watch Lost.

Oh, and I had a dream last night that I was in the empty vestibule of the Metra and every stop, the doors did not open and I just kept seeing all my friends standing there waving goodbye to me as the train left the station with me stuck inside.

Truly… they do. And I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the event last weekend and if I really believe in this stuff. I almost think belief isn’t relevant at this point. It was insane and crazy and holy cow. My grandpa told me I’m getting married in 2008. Um. yeah.

More to come I promise but I’m out of my mind with stress, worry and freakoutazoidtimesabillion about work, future, deadlines, applications. I’ll get it all out tonight – it is the day of the week I cry, naturally. And I’ll feel better. My other grandpa wanted to me to stop worrying all the time and that he doesn’t think there is an off button to my brain.

:head explodes:

and probably a sign I need a life.

I am captivated by John Edwards, the psychic medium that speaks to dead people.

I just watched one of his shows and it focused on a family who had their oldest son die at 18, his spirit came thru when John was talking to his AUNT at one show – then John invited the original mom and dad to one his shows and he came thru AGAIN, but they were too emotional to realize it until later. I was crying. I suck at life.

It makes me curious though, I am going to a party in Jan with best friend – another friend’s parents are having a two day party with a psychic that speaks to dead people. Apparently this person’s mom was a skeptic but got turned around.

Anyway, so I was invited and got a reservation and will shell out $65 to see this psychic. I’m not telling Boyfriend this – he doesn’t believe in any spirits or anything AND he’s getting a PhD in religious studies. So he believes in Heaven but not the “other side”? Hm… hypocritcal much?

I wonder what he’d think if his dad came through? Skeptic NO MORE! Love me some family drama. But it should be interesting.


musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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