Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for the ‘How bored are you by this point?’ Category

Ah, Oscars.  Although I look forward to his drunkard uncle, the Golden Globes, the most during awards season, I have to say I always enjoy the hell out of Oscar Day. From the red carpet until the never ending broadcast (and in past years, when I apparently didn’t require any sleep to function, the after party broadcast on E!).

I was actually impressed with this year’s broadcast. Although it was really long, I didn’t notice how long it had gone on until Jerry Lewis came up to get his humanitarian award and it was nearly 10pm. I loved Hugh Jackman more than I thought I would, although every year I wish Jon Stewart would be involved at some point.

More thoughts, some with pictures – get excited!

  • First of all, can Ryan Seacrest finally decide that working 10 jobs just isn’t working out and drop out of the Red Carpet coverage altogether? I think I ended up pouring myself a drink earlier than planned just to suffer through him. Anyway, my suggestion – Tim Gunn. He’s awesome. And after I saw and heard him right before the awards started I was so, so, so sad I wasted those hours with E! when Tim Gunn in 15 minutes did the job.
  • If Seacrest doesn’t leave, can he at least go through some sort of diversity sensitivity training course or something? Take for example, his interview with little kids from Slumdog Millionaire, some of which could not speak English and some who were just in shock, from I don’t know, maybe leaving Mumbai for the first time EVER and flying on a plane… Anyway, it was beyond awkward especially when he kept trying to ask the littles questions and he realized they didn’t speak English, he even called for a translator, before he spoke to the little girl in the blue dress who answered him back, and he says “She speaks GOOD English!!!!”. He also jokingly asked the kids if they brought their wife or husband along. I wonder if I was the only one who was like “Um, hello Arranged Marriages. Ouch.”
  • If your hot and very stylish boyfriend, finds you attractive in this:

jessicbiel

You might be the HOTTEST WOMAN EVER. Don’t think Justin didn’t give her once over, and if he approved of this thing , then he wasn’t looking at the dress. I mean, really. Look at her face, she knows the dress is bad.

  • On the flip side, the award for making me feel like life is not fair belongs to:

natalie

Not only did she go to Harvard, graduate AND get published while there, she is hot and wears this dress like it was her job. And she dated Gael Garcia Bernal. I mean, thanks Natalie Portman. My life sucks.

While on that note:

tilda

Tilda Swinton, thanks for making me feel like I’ve got something going on. There are so many things I want to say here, but I won’t.

  • Jennifer Aniston, poise and class are always the best revenge. Even if they* are sitting in the front row and even if you have to be the babysitter to Jack Black and the lame dialogue written for you both. Well done. I would have been doing shots before I walked out on that stage. Related: Is it me or does John Mayer have the biggest head/face ever?

jenandjohn1

  • I know this is running long so I’m trying to wrap this up (see what I did there?! ha!)  but I have to say this: Danny Boyle has been my favorite director for the last 3 years ever since I saw his last movie before SM, Millions. To say Millions is a masterpiece is the understatement of the year (It also might be crap seeing as though it’s just my opinion).  It is the most beautiful, heartbreaking, and inspirational movie I’ve ever seen.  Everyone should see it. I hope I don’t build it up too much and then people don’t get it. Because people should get it. You can see understand why Boyle made Slumdog Millionaire. After I watched Millions for the first time and declared it to be my favorite movie of all time, I also declared Danny Boyle a genius (little did I know he had also done Transpotting). Anyway, I adore, adore, ADORE (in the Smashing Pumpkins sense as well) him. I was thrilled when he won.

Then I read this on facebook:

[redacted] thinks Danny Boyle looks like Timmy from “South Park”. I can’t help it!

timmy

dannyboyle1

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry but how cute are *they* – bradgelina

You know, when the worst thing happens to all day is your favorite pen crapping out on you… you’re doing pretty well.

HOLY CRAP! IT IS DECEMBER. When did this happen? I am moving in just under 4 weeks and OMG, it is going to go by so fast. Which super excites me and terrifies me all at the same time. I’m going to do my update with bullet points, because I pretty much love the bullet point, even if I maybe don’t use them in the way bullet points were intended (i.e. I ramble in my bullets, I’m not concise, which is why bullet points exist)??

Done and done.

  • I have a lot to be thankful for this year, and every year really. I didn’t create a list to post in time for the holiday because to be honest? In my months of unemployment, I tried to be thankful and probably posted something to that effect. Which I sort of did. I feel like listing it after all of that would be excessive. and really boring for anyone other than me.
  • Thanksgiving was good. I spent it the same way I’ve spent Thanksgiving for the last 20 years or so. My family is not originally from Chicago. My mom is from a foreign country called Cleveland and my dad is from Minnesota. Their respective families still live there, we do not. Occasionally (as in once that I can remember) my fam would drive our mini-van to one of those far regions to have Thanksgiving but 8 hour drives with two kids for really only enjoying 2 – 3 days apparently wasn’t worth the hassle (I am pretty sure I had something to do with it, as I was a troublemaker lot of fun as a child).
  • For as long as I can remember we’ve done Thanksgiving with our oldest family friends (OFF for short). 35 plus years ago, my mom lived on the same apartment floor as Mr. OFF. Apparently everyone on the apartment floor became fast friends and held potlucks together once a week (I don’t ask specifics because it was the 70s and well, I’ve seen The Ice Storm). Mr and Mrs OFF were dating and then got married, and my mom started dating my dad and brought him into the mix. (They also all think they were the inspiration for the TV show Friends, the good thing about that show going off the air was that we no longer have to hear about it!) The oldest OFF girl and I were born in the same hospital, the OFFs moved, then my family moved. And almost 25 years ago, Mr. OFF recommended my dad for a job, we moved here and literally into a house around their corner from them. The OFFs have 3 girls, we have 2 and we all are the same age but were in different grades. Built-in friends and also orphans around the holidays so we have done Thanksgiving together ever since
  • Thanksgiving was good but the same as it always is. Although, not as fun since the girls and I have grown up. As kids we raced through dinner so we could play hide and go seek in the dark in someone’s bedroom or Scary lady under the stairs in a basement. Now we have champagne and want to take naps after dinner. But still, it was nice and especially nice that I was able to tell them I got a job. Mr. OFF reminded me of T-giving 2 years ago, when he made me defend my stance of wanting to go to graduate school and now my goals have come to fruition.
  • By the time my job search hit the end of October, I think I was starting to get desparate. I was looking for other areas of industry I could work that I could then parlay my career into higher education. I was trying to be realistic but also not lose sight of why I left marketing in the first place. I checked out government jobs, looked at applying for the Obama administration, you know, trying to stretch out a little. Imagine my surprise this morning when I got TWO emails from the FBI about jobs “matching my job criteria”. LOLOLOLOL. Seriously?? Did I seriously think I could work for the FBI?? But any of you history or language majors out there, especially with a emphasis on Asian or Middle Eastern studies? FBI is hiring and wants you.
  • Unique way to reuse plastic bags – although I don’t like plastic bags, I do like bows and I like target and this just looked pretty: pom-pom-how-to-1 You can find out how to make your own bows here.
  • Also, lately I am completely obsessed with dishwear. I always do this, before every move, I want to change something or get a new something or replace something. This move I can NOT stop thinking about dishwear. Which is so lame, because I have my own set of dishes, admittedly I bought them for my first one bedroom place, when I wasn’t thinking about style but utility. But still.

I WANT:

14945513_01_b1 Surprisingly affordable from Urban Outfitters but completely unnecessary.

Anyhoo.

Yes, this post is mostly about wallpaper. It’s also about the ex but frankly I care more about the wallpaper.

So, as I’m continuing my job hunt I’m living with my parents in the house I moved into at the age of 6, left at 18 for college, and then again at 22 for the city of Chicago. My parents have sights on moving in the next couple of years for whereabouts unknown and honestly, I don’t really see it happening. But they want to. However, not without significant upgrades on the house before they can sell it. (This is what I think will keep them here longer, replacing carpet, painting, replanting, barely one project is tackled and finished. They’re still working full-time so I’m cutting them some slack).

I am very thankful for their generosity in letting me stay here while I seek out the right position for me and they don’t lay on the guilt at all. But I feel guilty. I feel like I should be doing something to say thank you, to contribute, to let them know I’m not looking for a free ride or anything. This is where the wallpaper comes in.

Shortly after I came back home, my mother gives me these paint swatches and says “Pick out a color for you and your sister’s bathroom”. (First of all, I love that even though her two children are grown, both of our bedrooms are referred to as our bedroom and the bathroom we fought over and in, is still “our” bathroom. I find it sweet.) I got all excited because, well, I love decorating and decorating ideas even if I really have nothing to show for it in my past apartments. I’ve already started brainstorming what I want to do in my next apartment, down to the end and entry tables I want, that I will paint and what prints will adorn the walls. All of it bookmarked for my daydreams and when the time comes, to be purchased.

My dad was less than thrilled because as I excitedly showed him the colors I wanted to use and paint myself, I realized that he was not clued into this little project. Eventually. He said. Bummed, I told him the help wouldn’t be here to do it when it came time (little did I know! Crap!).

This weekend he decided to stain the deck again, one of their updating projects they actually completed. I’m not sure if was because I wanted to help or what but he told me my project was to strip the wallpaper in my bathroom. YES!!! A virgin to stripping wallpaper and painting, I was terribly excited and completely naive in that I thought I could get it all stripped in one day.

People, it is DAY 3 and I’m almost halfway done. This wallpaper is a bitch, it deserves its’ own circle of hell and I think I want to write a bill that will replace the death penalty with stripping wallpaper. My father told me that if done right, the thing should come off in full strips. Well, after I scored it, and soaked it in solution, it is coming off in little bitty chunks leaving a residue behind that I have to use my fingernails to scrape off. My first “strip” took me about 4 hours. Thank goodness, dad came in to “demonstrate” how it should be done so he found out first hand how difficult it was. I felt vindicated.

Turns out this is 25 year old vinyl wallpaper. Vinyl is water resistent. One key thing to stripping wallpaper? Soaking it in a water mix. Yah. Fun in the sun, alright. I also found a hole in the wall as I was taking off the towel rack. It’s been blocked by the towel. Ones that I barely use since I’ve been back and never used whenever I stayed here for holidays. It’s a trophy towel of sorts. The perpetrator of said hole? Me. I vaguely remember trying to do pull ups on the towel rack when I was a kid, and pulled the towel racks out of socket and causing some of the plaster to cave in. What a dumb ass. I hated pull ups and was always too tall for my age that it was a struggle in gym class. Why did I every want to do a pull up on a towel rack?? (Although I was clearly not bright or had a penchant for putting holes in walls as I would do gymnastics on my bed and promptly put my foot through my bedroom wall thanks to a badly placed handstand-ish thing. That one got patched. This one? Not so much).

My goal is to complete this god forsaken exercise by the weekend, in which I can finally relish in the paint selection and new fixtures. I mentioned I bookmark some home decor stuff I love, I also subscribe to an RSS feed that gives daily deals to various linens and home furnishings. Not of which I can purchase yet, but I will. OH, I WILL! Anyway, I open it up yesterday to read that wallpaper is coming back into style and is on trend. Oh, HELL NO.

Finally, a little update on the Ex. After weeks of fighting over IM, because he does not have the balls to call or see me in person, even though I’ve been here for a month. I completely ended things. All communication. Done. I hadn’t wanted to see him to get back together with him, or to make bad life decisions (that is his motivation, however) merely get my stuff back and to perhaps to give the end of the relationship some dignity.

He told me awhile ago, his ex-girlfriend (most serious relationship before me, they stayed best friends. I don’t get that. Wasn’t jealous, just didn’t get it. Every time I tried to get him to move on, I used how he did it from that relationship, he told me we were much closer than he had been with her) and he had had a massive blowup and were no longer speaking. In our last conversation, he told me they had reconciled their friendship. Oh, I asked, did you do this over IM? (because he hates the phone and never invited me to meet up like he claimed he wanted to do and this is the only way we communicate)

Nope. They MET FOR COFFEE AND CRIBBAGE. Oh really? So you have no problem calling her and meeting her and you can’t do that with someone you felt closer to?? In my defense, I did not act like a jealous ex-girlfriend but like a pissed off ex-girlfriend who realized that the had never made her a priority, would never make her a priority and was shamed into thinking that continuing a friendship without a reminder of this was plausible.

That was that. I washed my hands of it. It’s been 11 days since this happened, and I feel stronger every day. I realize we’ve been broken up for awhile but I still was holding on to something that he could never be, something that I’ve held onto for way too long. It was good to let that go.

Now, if the wallpaper would only give in a little bit, I’d be golden.

Sure anyone can write 3 posts in one day but do they type it and post while inside a patient’s room waiting for the doctor in their campus health center??!! I think not. (#1 wireless campus in the nation, what up??!!)

Anyway, I’ve been reading up on all these pamphlets provided in this room. I sorta feel stupid because I have all the classic symptoms of a cold and yet two different brochures have told me that antibiotics will not cure a cold and I’m screwed for 7 – 14 days. Great.

Oh, and I think one of my moles might be basal cell carcinoma, according to one of the three pamphlets I read in here on skin cancer. So I’ll have the doc check out, once he gets in here.

And finally my favorite brochure: Sexually Transmitted Infections: What Everyone Should Know. When did STDs go out of style?? Did you know syphilis can cause an aortic aneurysm? Holy f*ck! That does not sound like fun. Which one is the clap*?

Update: The doc diagnosed me with a cold. Son of a!!! So I’m going home to irrigate my nose with salt water. This should be attractive. Although, when he walked in, he was all set to give me the drugs and then once he heard me breathe, it became a cold.

* Mentioned with love as ode to one of my college obsessions:

“In physical terms, I’m cuter than you, but you’re much nicer than I am.”

So I’m sick. There, I said it. I hate being sick [insert lots of whining here]. Strangely, being sick feels like a really unique experience even though everyone says things like: “man, when I get sick, I mean I really get SICK. It knocks me out. For DAYS.” or “umm… yeah I’ll probably go to the doctor but what are they really going to do?” And then you sit there all tough-guy like, hoping people understand how much of an effort it takes just to do the basic of work tasks. Like you are going above and beyond the call of duty, for just showing up. In reality, you should be in bed, you should be sleeping, and you should be going to the health center if only because it is the easiest way to get prescriptions legally.

But because I am all of these things above – AND leaving/driving to Atlanta in TWO days, I’m going to whine/randomize (new word: When one is being random but as a verb, which it might not be but whatever) for you, blog buddies:

1. I have serious issues with blowing my nose or sniffing really loudly, and uhh…efficiently(?), in front of other people. This has forced me to take tissue (thank you Stacy the secretary for buying the really soft kind) and every 10 minutes get up and walk outside the office to go to the nearest bathroom to do the deed. Gross.

2. Also my nose is sore and it hurts. And my dry skin on my nostrils (from blowing, poor skin) looks like dried boogers but they are NOT!! (EW. I know. I just want to tell this to people so I can look them in the eyes again but I haven’t so I’m telling YOU.)

3. I also am limiting my breathing because I can only breathe out of my mouth. I’m sorry, but mouth breathers are creeeeeeepy. So I don’t want to be that creeper breather everyone can hear in the room so so I’m trying to just breathe softly which could make me dizzy, but I’ll be ok.

4. Today is the day I can actually go to the Health Center. But I’m actually feeling better, no aches or pains, just getting rid of stuff, if you know what I mean. So I don’t know if I’m going to go. Ugh. I should just go.

5. Germ-X is my friend – I am using it every 10 minutes after each bathroom use – thanks to this little hand sanitizer bottle thing I got for free somewhere. But every time I use it, I think about Matt Lauer yesterday discussing the rise of auto immune diseases and asthma is because we are increasingly germ-o-phobic and not letting our bodies build up antibodies to fight it off. Hmmmm…. I hate you Matt Lauer. Now I don’t know if I’m helping other people around me by germing off or if I’m slowly killing them. Thanks a lot, this is almost as bad as the whole bottled water industry is killing the Earth vs. tap water has drugs confusion I’m under.

I love randomizing. You should do it. Just pick a topic and just say random things about it. Kinda  like a blog… oh, wait.

Scene: My hood, this morning while walking a block to go to the corner store

I passed by a little kiddy park and saw a group of about 20 children, all ages and looking like a UN contingent. There was one adult male, who was probably their leader or whatever

As I pass by…

Older girl shows the Leader guy a book.
Leader guy: Of course this book is about a STRIPPER!! Would I let you guys read this??!

On my way back, the kids are still in the park but the adult male leader is on his cell phone.
Adult Male holds his cell phone up to the kids so they can answer: Do you guys think I’m trouble?

Kids: YES!!!! (half shout) NO!!! (half of them shout all at once)

Um…yeah.


Synopsis

musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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