Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Life is Short

Posted on: March 6, 2009

On my drive into work this morning, I was noticing the time, and that I was running really late. It occurred to me that it would probably the latest I have arrived at work yet.

First, this started to worry me. Periodically in my life, I have been a tardy person. Professionally, this tends to happen when I’m unhappy or I’ve already checked out of a job. Many a time I would get to work by9:30 when I should have been there by 9 and I didn’t care because in my eyes, I always worked until 7 or 8pm at night and I felt I gave enough of my day to the job as it is.

My first thought this morning, at 7:54, was “Crap, is it happening again? Am I a unhappy at work AGAIN? After all I’ve been through??” I start work at 8am and was a good 20 minutes from parking, not to mention the 10 minute walk to my office.

Then I stopped myself and looked around. I was in a Starbucks drive thru with about 10 other cars who decided to give themselves a Friday treat (like me) or just were doing their usual routine (I wish). As I felt the guilt sort of creep in for purposely being late so I could have a mocha, I decided that I would not feel guilty.

I decided to enjoy the fact that it was a Friday morning and I deserved to have my coffee treat. That I would not freak out when the parking garage I’m assigned to would be over crowded due to some Texas state girls swimming meet (or something. I have not quite been able to decipher the temporary spirit paint on the mini-vans) and therefore would take me longer than usual to find a spot and walk to work. I decided that I would put the earbuds of my iPod in and enjoy the 10 minute walk to my office and feel the humid air (in March! wtf.) and maybe I’d even put a little bounce in my step when a silly song came on and I’d smile when another one brought back memories of the ridiculous amount of fun I’ve had in my life.

I’ve never taken time to appreciate the small things in life, mostly because I think I’ve been so preoccupied with the big stuff (What is going to be my CAREER!!??! Money! LOVE!! Am I happy?!) that the small stuff seemed to waste my time.

Years ago I was dating a boy for only about a month, we were both travelling consultants so we only had spent  hours together, kind of like The Bachelor only not at all, and while we had called and emailed each other as we each crossed the country, we really didn’t know each other. One day I got a package in the mail, it was a book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. The boy had included a note in the front of the book that said “I saw this the other day and thought of you”.

My reaction was of excitement and sweetness rather than “Holy crap, this kid barely knows me and the only thing he really has picked up on is that I’m a basketcase and a total control freak and maybe this book will help me ‘get it’??”

I never read the book. I tried but I wasn’t even remotely in the place to be able to understand it, which seems strange because it ‘s so simple, but at the time I think my reaction was: This is Lame. And then we broke up. Ironic, isn’t it?

Anyway, I get it now. It was 8:45 by the time I turned on my computer this morning. My mocha was delightful. And in the words of JT, as I twirled around in an empty alley: Go ahead Beat, Go with it.


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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