Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for March 2009

Remember the crazy cat lady?? She actually turned out to be an ex-backup singer for a very famous 70s band AND a retired cardio surgeon. Yeah, book meet cover.  Well, she still has a lot of cats. One of which she wants to give to me.

Tonight she brought him over and we’re trying him on for size. Of course my cat is curious but not enough to really check it out, only enough to do drive-bys and then stay the hell away.

I secretly hope the kitten stays.

Meet Romeo*


*Couple disclaimers:

  • Kitten is in the bathroom like a responsible cat introduction should be, as opposed to a couple months ago when crazy cat lady just walked in my apartment with the kitten and my kitty hissed (So very impolite of her!)
  • Please excuse my dirty bathroom and floors, cleaning was going to be tonight but put it off once I’d realize I’d have to do it again once kitten leaves
  • If this kitten becomes mine, the name will change. I have a perfect girl’s name but no boy names. Brainstorming session has started.

If I never saw a calendar, I would know what time of year it would by my specific anxiety level that only feels this way in March. Anyway, it’s making me not want to work but blog instead. I can’t think coherently (anxiety mixed with Friday) so here’s some random goodies in a bullet format. Is it 5:30 yet??

  • My alma mater plays tonight at 5:30. After getting a bye in the Big 10 tourney, we are playing a team that we might lose to, not because they are good but because it’s Michigan and for some reason we like to throw them (or any random underrated team) a bone now and then. I think it’s a self esteem problem. However, I’m so excited that all I want to do is go and tie one on RIGHT NOW until I remember that I used to do exactly that, leave work early to meet college friends  to watch the game, and now I live in a place where that’s not possible. So. I’m thinking that I might just watch the game from the comforts of a treadmill. Sounds productive except..
  • I flipping lost my iPod. What the french?! I had it last at the gym the other night – thought I had tossed in my work bag, but it’s nowhere to be found. It’s not at work, it’s not at home. I’m praying it’s in my gym bag, which I’ve half heartedly checked and not at the gym, stolen and now loving someone else. Ugh.
  • My director gave my team all gifts today. Working for a university lends itself to getting a LOT of branded items, some cool and useful, some not. Today’s gift was a pen. And at my core, I have a deep and severe love for office supplies, mostly in the format of pens. I can’t use just any pen. I have to like the way it writes, the ink, etc. I’m not some floozy who only likes pink gel – I hate gel pens, in fact – but I like more than just a ball point. So once I find a pen I like, I will use it and nothing else. Well, at least until I find another one I like. This pen I got today? IS AWESOME. OMG. So excited. Seriously. Pens. I am so easy to please!! How do I not have a boyfriend yet? Just buy me specific and exact pens that I like , honey, that’s all I need. Yeah… that’s why.
  • My cell phone contract is up in July. Which, can NOT come fast enough. I’m so sick of the crappy phone I have and I want a qwerty keypad so bad it hurts to even text in the T9 format. I have been shopping for a new phone for awhile but it makes me ache for a new phone SO BAD, it’s pointless to put myself through this agony. Because I have this thing for not liking whatever is the most popular out of spite principle, I’ve decided that unlike the rest of America under 35, I was not going to fall into the iPhone trap. Until my coworker got one and let me play with it, and unlike the 10 other times I’ve played with iPhones, this one trapped me under its’ spell. Plus I get a discount, so I think I will be getting an iPhone. Which is great. Except I have ZERO patience and want one RIGHT NOW.
  • Today is the last day before ye olde university’s Spring Break and I couldn’t be more excited!! Next week I’m going to be the only person in my office here – so pretty much nothing will get done. But I’m excited to attempt to get work done without random interruptions that prevent me from doing it on normal days. Also South by Southwest (SXSW in these parts) starts next week (it’s during Spring Break on purpose. Smart Move!) but famous people have descended already and there is a buzz in the air that is so electric right now, which combined with my anxiety level for college basketball, I feel like I could combust at any second.

That’s it. Is it 5:30 yet??

Dear Texans,

How are y’all? Isn’t the weather fantastic! I mean, it’s not very Texas, it’s raining after all. But we’re in a drought and droughts are ugly and helps stuff catch on fire and burns acres and well, we need this rain. It’s nice to break up this monotony, it feels coldish and it’s got to feel like winter at somepoint, right? (Well, if winter feels like 42 degrees, which my people would laugh at you but I’m not, I get it).

Anyway, so this rain. We need to talk about it. I get that if there is the “once in every 3 years” ice storm, y’all don’t know how to drive in it. The city shuts down, the schools and my workplace shuts down. Boom, goes the dynamite, game’s over. The city is down for the count. I, for one, would actually like to witness this, just to see what really happens but also having a random day or couple days off work wouldn’t be so horrible. The point has been berated into me: Texans don’t know how to drive in bad weather. Understood.

I don’t know, maybe it’s me and I need to reassess what I deem as “bad weather” now that I’m in the Southwest, or is it the South?? Oh, it’s just Texas?? Okay. So now that I’m in Texas I need to adapt to the fact that the locals never really have had driving experience in “bad weather” and everyone else seems to be transplanted from California, so they don’t know either. Gotcha.

But seriously, it was drizzling this morning and it took me ONE HOUR to get to work. A 25 minute ride in took me ONE HOUR with y’all going about 5 miles an hour, god forbid your brakes weren’t able to react on a wet road. My dear Texans, the same brakes you have on your cars are the same brakes others in South Dakota have on theirs during a Blizzard. They will work fine. I promise you. Unless they are really broken and need repair, and then well, you are on your own for that one.

I think if we all work together to get past this mental block about driving in anything but sunny weather, we can make this experience a pleasant one for all of us. Besides, you don’t want the rest of the country to think y’all are illequipped in ANY category, would you? I mean, this is Texas, the same Texas that was its’ own country at one point and can be again?!* Right?? It’s no big deal and I ain’t mad at y’all. I am mad at leaving 3 of my coats and 2 umbrellas in my office so now my hair is a hot mess, but that’s not your fault.



*Total urban myth, Texas lost all chance of being its’ own republic when it joined the Union, but you wouldn’t know it by the way people talk about it around here.

Last night, in attempt to get the recommended amount of sleep, I got into bed at 9:30pm. Honestly, this wasn’t an exercise to go to bed earlier as it was to force myself to make some headway on my Book Club’s book I have to finish by next week.

However, I did fall asleep much earlier than normal. Considering yesterday’s  sabotage waking up, I was actually excited drifting off to sleep. I knew I would have no problem getting up.

Until I woke back up about 4am (note: I had not quite 6 hours of sleep by this point, which is my usual – horrible, I know- so I’m now wondering if maybe my body just wants 5.75 hours of sleep?!). It was a wide awake type of deal. I was pissed. Here I am, trying to be responsible, FORCING myself to go to bed early so I can get more sleep, and I lie awake as can be at 4am. My cat was thrilled, by the way, I think she spends half the night watching me just waiting for me to wake up.

No, I’m getting 8 hours of sleep, if it kills me. That was my attitude. So I lie back down and close my eyes and try to think of nothingness so I can fall back asleep.

Which would have worked PERFECTLY except my brain? My brain’s idea of “okay, let’s relax and calm down and think of nothing until you drift off…. zzzzz” is actually to start a constant refrain of Eddie Murphy’s hit and only and HORRIBLE single Party All the Time on a loop in my head. For an HOUR.

It was horrifying.

And I only have myself to blame. Because I love sentence fragments and Vh1 commentary shows like the one I watched for a bit this weekend, Black to the Future. In which they spent a great deal of time making fun of Eddie Murphy’s Party All the Time. And I laughed a lot.

Guess Dr. Dolittle’s got the last laugh now.

Not only did he steal an extra hour, which I normally don’t realize is important and therefore have never really cared missed (as opposed to hours wasted in long horrible movies, months in a stupid dumb ass relationship, or years worshipping a superficial ideal –  I get how those are wasted, but one hour, puhlease, I waste time in one hour increments constantly!!) but I think he stole my cheery deposition, my regal looks and definitely my affinity for being awake during the day (not even peppermints – nature’s own caffeine!! – are working).

He may have also stole the electricity to my alarm clock therefore not waking me at my agreed upon time but rather when Daylight Savings Time fricking felt like it!!!! Which is also the same time I have to LEAVE for work.

I mean, really. What do you want from me, DST??

To be super famous and anthromorphized like these guys:


Sorry, DST. I quit the ad biz awhile back. If you’d come around more than once a year and not skip the time I lived in Indiana, you’d know that.

I mean, it’s got to be your vendetta against me, there’s no way I could have possibly have forgotten to turn on my alarm last night, even after I shuddered thinking, Man, that would so SUCK if I woke up at 7:30, and double checked it??! I mean, I think I double checked my alarm? Nope. Everyone else says it’s you, Daylight Savings, so I’m going with it. Because I am nothing, if not  a sucker for lame excuses, a follower, an absolute “with-it” and “together” person, having a sh**ty Monday.

On my drive into work this morning, I was noticing the time, and that I was running really late. It occurred to me that it would probably the latest I have arrived at work yet.

First, this started to worry me. Periodically in my life, I have been a tardy person. Professionally, this tends to happen when I’m unhappy or I’ve already checked out of a job. Many a time I would get to work by9:30 when I should have been there by 9 and I didn’t care because in my eyes, I always worked until 7 or 8pm at night and I felt I gave enough of my day to the job as it is.

My first thought this morning, at 7:54, was “Crap, is it happening again? Am I a unhappy at work AGAIN? After all I’ve been through??” I start work at 8am and was a good 20 minutes from parking, not to mention the 10 minute walk to my office.

Then I stopped myself and looked around. I was in a Starbucks drive thru with about 10 other cars who decided to give themselves a Friday treat (like me) or just were doing their usual routine (I wish). As I felt the guilt sort of creep in for purposely being late so I could have a mocha, I decided that I would not feel guilty.

I decided to enjoy the fact that it was a Friday morning and I deserved to have my coffee treat. That I would not freak out when the parking garage I’m assigned to would be over crowded due to some Texas state girls swimming meet (or something. I have not quite been able to decipher the temporary spirit paint on the mini-vans) and therefore would take me longer than usual to find a spot and walk to work. I decided that I would put the earbuds of my iPod in and enjoy the 10 minute walk to my office and feel the humid air (in March! wtf.) and maybe I’d even put a little bounce in my step when a silly song came on and I’d smile when another one brought back memories of the ridiculous amount of fun I’ve had in my life.

I’ve never taken time to appreciate the small things in life, mostly because I think I’ve been so preoccupied with the big stuff (What is going to be my CAREER!!??! Money! LOVE!! Am I happy?!) that the small stuff seemed to waste my time.

Years ago I was dating a boy for only about a month, we were both travelling consultants so we only had spent  hours together, kind of like The Bachelor only not at all, and while we had called and emailed each other as we each crossed the country, we really didn’t know each other. One day I got a package in the mail, it was a book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. The boy had included a note in the front of the book that said “I saw this the other day and thought of you”.

My reaction was of excitement and sweetness rather than “Holy crap, this kid barely knows me and the only thing he really has picked up on is that I’m a basketcase and a total control freak and maybe this book will help me ‘get it’??”

I never read the book. I tried but I wasn’t even remotely in the place to be able to understand it, which seems strange because it ‘s so simple, but at the time I think my reaction was: This is Lame. And then we broke up. Ironic, isn’t it?

Anyway, I get it now. It was 8:45 by the time I turned on my computer this morning. My mocha was delightful. And in the words of JT, as I twirled around in an empty alley: Go ahead Beat, Go with it.

I’ll confess, I had read some spoilers about The Bachelor last week so I had an idea of what might go down last night on the finale.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how fake it all seemed and looked. I have been on the couch across from a man, who I LOVED and LOVED and had been thinking about since New Zealand we met and patiently waited for him to get his head out of his ass and his life together, who wanted a second chance and gave it to him. That second chance also led him to eventually reinsert head into ass and ultimately ask for a third chance, which I did because I loved him and I saw IMPROVEMENT and gave him another year and half before head entered ass once again because it loves it there. More than me. It can stay there because that’s where I draw the line. It would be a fourth time if he had it his way but here’s what I learned: If he’s not ready with you, it doesn’t mean he won’t ever be ready because he probably will, but he’ll NEVER be ready WITH you. You served your purpose in his life and I bet if you look close enough you’ll find the purpose he served in yours.

So, on theory and by experience I hate what went down only because I think it sends the wrong message. Totally my opinion, which since it’s my blog, you’ll find a lot of them here. However, what I LOVED last night was the mass chaos of reaction it caused on facebook. I bet if you could bottle up all the emotion and fury in the typing and commenting and opinions of the show last night exerted on facebook, you could power some little town in Iowa. Or something. I don’t know but I do know it made me laugh. lotssssssssss.

Then I got a text from a grad school friend, who is stuck up her own ass in many developmental (I don’t mean she’s slow, I mean she’s immature and can’t challenge herself to get past it) ways, that said: “I am older than both Molly and Melissa (the final two contestants on the Bach). I am doomed”. So I didn’t try to help her see it from a different perspective, as I should have rather I decided to pour myself another glass of champagne (what? it’s a historical thing with me and The Bach, I can’t help it)

And also, I should probably make yesterday’s pubic mistake more often, as the internet LOVED that post yesterday! No fun search engine terms resulted from it though. Boo.


musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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