Life is Busting out ALL Over!

and then reality starts to set in…

Posted on: November 25, 2008

Holy crap I’m moving. My offer letter came today (with a really cool pen) and I sent it back, signed. I faxed in an application for the apartment I prefer. It’s all happening. Despite my excitement, I am aware that it seems like I’ve never been offered a job before or that I’ve never done any of this before. Well, that is not true, but in many ways this does feel like I’m doing this all for the first time. The newness is due to understanding, finally, my true self and my needs. I apologize that for awhile, you might have to recheck my About Me section to confirm the fact I am 30, as you thought, and not 22 right out of college embarking on that new chapter.

I’m embracing this Pollyanna-ness now because after this Thanksgiving holiday I am going to have to work with and face the concept of moving. Moving and I know each other well. 5 apartments in 6 years while living in Chicago. One move out of state and back. And now I embark yet again on another move.

I wish I didn’t know moving so well, that I could think every single thing (getting cable! Turning on Utilities! Getting new license plates and paying fees!) is adventure. I know better. I hate moving, I hate the headaches, I hate the anxiety and I hate the unknown costs that spring up before, during and after the move. And I really hate doing this out of state.

But it is what it is. And I’ll deal but I’m going to let the happy feelings linger for as long as they want and hopefully they will extend their stay in a couple weeks, in the midst of getting ready for Christmas as well, when I’m ready just to chuck everything or not think things through and say “Fuck it” only to regret it once I’m moved in (happens every move), I’ll be able to hop up on my Pollyanna cloud and ride it out until I figure out a solution.

Fake it till you make it. It’s worked for me so far, I can do it for 5 more weeks.


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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