Life is Busting out ALL Over!

It’s typical Tuesday.

Posted on: July 22, 2008

Graduation was this weekend. I’m done. I have a Masters degree. It didn’t feel like anything I wanted it to feel, there was really no sense of accomplishment, and while my parents and I took time to celebrate, we dove into the next phase: packing.

I’m having a REALLY hard time with packing. I had ideas for this post to analyze why this whole end of the masters experience seems to be a low point rather than the high I had thought. I wanted to talk about how I think as a society we are all taught that the only worthwhile journeys lead to a destination, graduate = land a job, relationship = getting married. And that because I don’t have a destination yet, I cannot validate my own experience. And this is what makes packing difficult. Because I’m packing for a storage unit. Which is crap and probably suggests that I have serious issues.

I also am having a tough time blogging – I don’t really think it’s for me. I’m a conversation person and while I’m a good story teller (so I’ve been told) I loathe talking about myself. I read others’ blogs and marvel at the talent they have in turning the ordinary, but often extraordinary, things in their life into funny and fascinating reads on like a daily basis! I’m definitely a verbal over math girl, but it just doesn’t flow. I don’t want to give up on blogging but I think I’m going to have to think about it a little bit more.

As I continue to process through my own emotions but also keep me writing, I thought I’d add in a conceptual element. Typical Tuesdays are going to be things that are only typical to me, probably negative in nature, definitely sarcastic but open to good things too. So here we go..

– It’s typical that the guy across from me, known as stalker guy, that every flipping time I go outside is also outside watching me…. is married. This not only makes me an idiot but also means my gay-dar is seriously in need of a tune up, or just non-existent.

– It’s typical that my cat, which my parents took back with them, is having absolutely NO adjustment issues there, a place she has only been twice before. This after I was still had adjustment issues with her HERE last week.

– It’s typical that after I had grown out of my “Bachelor” loving phase I am now hooked on to a show called “Must Love Kids”. A show about 3 single moms dating 7 guys trying to find love. And they break up with them by pulling them aside and stating it’s not going to work OR just announcing it in front of everyone, “last one picked for the team” style.

– It’s typical that I find my “wondertwin” in my program, a girl that shares the same opinion as me on almost everything AND went through a bad break up of her own (and is still ongoing, just like me), one week before she leaves to work at Duke. ARGH.

– It’s typical that after a stupid fight with the Ex, in which I totally started to push him away, basically ended things with no communication moving forward and now that I know I was in the wrong, I feel a stupid need to apologize. But I don’t want to risk anything but it’s killing me not to be able to rectify this.

– It’s typical that in fear that my own cap – of the cap and gown notion – would not fit my huge head (seriously, most hats don’t fit my head) I argued forever with my mom to bring her sewing kit and elastic to make adjustments. I won on the point that she is in denial that anything would be abnormal of me (ha!) because I’m her child. Only to pull the cap out the night before to SHOW her and find that it already is stitched with elastic and could fit my head just fine.

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Synopsis

musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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