Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Why I have “Silver Springs” on repeat and other fun* stuff

Posted on: July 8, 2008

* if you have no life like moi

  • You learn pretty quickly how crappy your general iTunes catalog is when you are on Yahoo IM and your status is the song you are listening to. I prefer to keep my obsession with Heart to myself but I forget sometimes…
  • Fourth of July was interesting. I needed to get the hell out of town, and NOT to Chicago and I had a friend offering her lakehouse in Michigan and so we went. As did 51 of her family members. It was fun and I’ve always wanted a big family. But holy crap, silence and not sharing a room with 12 other people is SACRED. As are friendly 3 year olds, as opposed to the one I met, and tried to be friends with, who I’m pretty sure was mocking me with his grumpy face and blatant disregard for my attempts at pleasantness. But my friend’s mom was really sweet and I think felt bad for me that I do not have a job yet. She’s a spiritual lady and gave me a mantra to say to myself, so that was nice.
  • Fuck, my iTunes library sucks! I’ve had to change two songs already
  • Right now, unless miracles upon miracles happen, it looks like I will be moving my stuff into storage and moving back to my parents for the time being. I’m not so annoyed with not having a job as I’m annoyed with the idea of moving twice. And quite frankly, I feel like I’m supposed to end up in Chicago because I have learned a lot about myself this year and I think I have amends to make with relationships I left there, not just him, but friends as well. It is much easier for me to move and start over than to go back and face the music.
  • I’ve been applying to all sorts of jobs over the last 3 days, and I’m actually having fun doing it! CRAZY. But I’ll be glad not to have to do them any more. I think the key is having the cover letter and just modifying it.
  • I’m not at all interested in men anymore. Women have never been an interest of mine either so it’s pretty boring over here, people. The Ex and I have had some pretty interesting breakthroughs in the last couple of weeks, mostly that the main issues we struggled with no longer seem to be an issue for him anymore. While I KNEW this would happen, I had hoped that it would happen while we were together but it looks like it had to take him to lose me to figure shit out. However, I’ve noticed that the things that I used to find charming and endearing about him, and are SO HIM they’ll always be there, I now find annoying and won’t put up with it. I think this weekend we are finally going to see each other to do the exchanging of the stuff. I don’t care about his stuff but he has a ton of my books. Plus, I don’ t think I’ve actually experienced closure yet, and I’m interested to see how I will feel actually seeing him. I’m either going to get clarity or make really bad life decisions. So that’s nice.
  • What the hell is going on with that P.S. I Love You movie?? I had to turn it off, I thought it was so horrible. My best friend told me she LOVED it and bawled through it. Fine. I am kind of a snob, so it didn’t surprise me she and I disagreed. Well, then last night the Ex told me he thought that movie was awesome and he cried 100 times. WHAT THE HELL?? This is the same guy who favors bands on independent labels and even he couldn’t see through that Hallmark card of a mess??  And then he recommended Definitely Maybe too. I’ve also turned into a  jaded freak and it’s possible that all jaded people in the world now believe in love and flowers and shit. I’m sure it’s just me.

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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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