Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Oh Harry, you have me under your grip

Posted on: July 23, 2007

So, in case you’ve been living under a rock this last week, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out on Friday. Being a more reclusive yet anxious HP fan, I put mine on reserve. I decided not to go up to Evanston to pick it up at midnight, seeing as a) street parking is horrible after 7pm, b) well, my hood is kinda scary anyway and 3) I was alone.

So Saturday, after meeting a good friend for lunch on Southport (can we talk about what a crazy place that has become?! I lived there for 3 years and it was NEVER as crowded as what I observed, not even when the Cubs were in the playoffs. INSANE. Who knew I was a trendsetter?! Ha, not.) I drove up to Evanston strumming up as many patience vibes as I could muster. Partly because the traffic on Belmont chokes me, and partly b/c I didn’t know how many little wizards I’d have to battle in line.

I must have done something good (Sound of Music, get it?) because there was no line. I was in Borders for 3 minutes tops and left very grateful.

I had planned to dive right into it on Saturday afternoon so I could finish it on Sunday. I know a lot of people who received theirs and wanted to be able to participate in the discussions.

Well, my plan was working, I burrowed on my couch with my cat sleeping on my legs, and then I dozed off for about an hour.

Then about an hour after I woke up and started reading again, I hear a key in my door and R walks in. I’m going to stray for a second here. He’s currently up in Rockford as part of a senior high service trip, hating it, but he’s there doing good work. I didn’t expect him back until Monday. He had come back to do some work stuff (he works at a church) for Sunday and decided to stop over to say hi. Well, of course stopping over turned into staying over, so my HP plans were thrown out the window, but for a good cause

** Break here for some romantical stuff, skip this section if you want to hear about the rest of the weekend **

Can I just say how awesome distance is sometimes? I mean, it’s not ideal or a remedy, but for some reason with R and myself, a couple days of not seeing each other seems to breathe new life into us. He’s normally very appreciative of me and I hear him tell me he loves me pretty much every other hour for no reason at all when we see each other constantly.

But the missing me thing, R missing me, well, that I kind of like. Not in an addictive, must have a ciggie with that beer or it’s not the same kind of buzz addiction, but one I do like. So far since I’ve been back after my week long trip in end of June/beginning of July – he was gone for a week, then was home for 2.5 weeks, gone for 5 days, will be back for 4 days, and then leaves for the Appalachian Mtns for 8 days and then 6 days later I move.

I’ve sensed a definite shift with us this summer. Most importantly, when he came with me to my parents in June and the 4 of us sat at the dinner table, it really felt like HOME. More so than any other time I’d been back in my childhood house since I moved out. He felt like family. There was some sort of really deep connection there I can’t describe. I’d watch our relationship go from excitement/lust to friendship to a partnership. And now I feel that partnership. He’s my go-to-guy. And I hadn’t realized how naturally I’ve let him in, or how he’s knocked down my walls. But lately, he’s the only one I feel that doesn’t fail me.

So my point, is that I think we’re going to make it. Not that I have doubts, but moving 4 hours away, going to graduate school, R finishing grad school, and the opportunities that lay before us after, it makes me realistic. A little protective of my heart, you know, in case. That’s just my nature. But this summer, this summer when my walls would have gone up to protect me, to just give up, the bricks and mortar are shattered, unable to be pieced together. And I don’t have any on backorder, and I don’t feel the need to place one.


Hi, welcome back from the commercial break. Where was I, oh yes. It was great to see R, although he slept like a rock and a little to close/basically all on my side while I couldn’t sleep (again. WTF.).

This morning I got up, determined to finish the damn thing, the HP book remember? I know I get off track. Most of my friends had and darnit if I’m not competitive.

So I started at 2pm and was done by 9pm. Sure, I fit a couple of naps in, moved around to a new position on the couch every half an hour, skimmed the last 150 pages b/c I was so anxious. But I did it.

And it was worth it. The book was fantastic, somethings I was disappointed in not seeing but it was a great story.

Most importantly, I won’t have to deal with the Harry Potter craze. Ever again.

I did make it outside to get some sustenance (read: Milano cookies) and my god the weather was gorgeous. It made me ache for my old roofdeck on Belmont, somehow my current deck with its’ great view of the El tracks just doesn’t cut it, but we all now know how I feel about *that* particular area (see above).


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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