Life is Busting out ALL Over!


Posted on: July 19, 2007

I can’t sleep. This is the third night this week, I’ve gone to bed and then finally got up and out of bed to get on the computer in the hopes of dulling my eyes to sleep by staring at the monitor in the dark. I probably look like someone out of a Stephen King novel or a skeevy online ad.

I know there is something to this, something I don’t want to face. The only thing I can come up with is that I know I’m leaving so I don’t want to spend a single second of time sleeping while I’m here. I’m not forcing myself, and believe me I want to get to sleep.

The first night this happened, I heard gunshots in my neighborhood at 3 AM. That was fun, not fun. So that spooked me and I think I stayed up because I wanted to read and not think about it.

The night after that, I was probably used to going to bed late so I just couldn’t. Tonight, tonight, I have no idea. I even got up when boyfriend left for work this morning and did not sleep in.

However, I DID fall asleep tonight but boyfriend woke me up to tell me HE couldn’t sleep. Which doesn’t help either of us. So he’s flipping channels on the TV like a bat out of hell on ADD, which makes me completely start to wake. Next thing I know he hands me the remote, flops over and I hear soft snoring. WHAT the hell?

So I’m not sure if this is insomnia or just the fact that now I’m awake. But anyway.

Don’t hear much from the old job, which is AWESOME. However, the weirdo girl I had to go on my last business trip with 3 weeks ago?? Remember her, the one I encouraged to go on an earlier flight so I could have some peace. Yeah, well throughout our whole time together she was bitching at me about how she hated her job and that she didn’t think she would stay long. I really didn’t say much because a) after that gig, I was DONE. And I’ve been that person that wanted to be the one leaving and it sucks and b) the company would have been put in a really bad position if she left and I’m still loyal. The more time I spent with her the more I just found her to be an odd bird, but not one that you put in a museum and look at and think it’s interesting but she’s the one you wish she would just leave your yard ALREADY. By the end of the trip, I was convinced maybe the company would be better off and not the other way around.

Last week, I heard through the grapevine that this co-worker quit by leaving a voicemail that morning that she wasn’t coming in and quit!! Can you believe that?! A fricking voicemail. The funniest thing about this is that my only friend at my old company used to work with said co-worker and this same person had quit that job by a POST-IT note on her computer.

So at least I don’t have that going for me…


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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