Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for June 2007

So we all know it’s my last day at crazytown today. Can you hear the angels singing? I can!

Anyway, the replacement that they hired for me is great overall. She’s a talented in marketing and seems really organized, I think she is going to do great.

However, I’m a little miffed (yes, I can use this word and not be 45 years old) because once she arrived, everyone was really patient and nice and all took time to TEACH her how to do her job. Well, duh, you say, isn’t that sort of what happens with a new person. Why yes, I’d respond, it is. But you know there is more to this story.

I got thrown in the the role she was hired for. I got literally no transition. The marketing director before me was so happy to be leaving she prepared a great list of items to be done in the next two weeks after she left. That’s it. No training on the budget. No transition on issues that the company has been having with vendors. Nothing. NOTHING.

So for two months I was drowning in all this catch up and trying to figure out ways to solve problems while my boss thought that I was taken through everything and had a nice training time of 2 weeks. So who looks like a jack ass? Me.

Yeah, I could have defended myself to my boss and set her straight. But I hate excuses and I hate them even more when they come out of me. Plus I was so over it by that point, it just wasn’t worth the time. Although, lessons learned my friends. Taking the downfall sucks balls.

Anyway, there is this one project that I originated and owned for a good 6 months. This project has doubled in size and they hired more people to handle it. Now the new marketing director is working on it and she stops me this morning to say:

“How the hell did you do this? It’s really hard! I’m having the worst time.”

I gave her some suggestions, told her things I learned and just smiled on the inside. I wish her much luck and I think she will do a better job that I EVER could. My journey is done, my time has passed, and the road is hers.

Godspeed.

(But it does feel a little good, not going to lie)

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Can I tell you all, dear readers, what a wonderful feeling I have on this Sunday night knowing this is the LAST Sunday night I will spend having to go to work in Corporate America (well, we’re not corporate but in crazytown). Still. Every Sunday for probably the last 2.5 years, I have dreaded Sundays. By 8:00 pm my throat closes up like an allergic reaction. To make matters worse, they moved Grey’s Anatomy to Thursdays last year so this year I didn’t even have an hour to forget about the nightmare I was facing the next day.

Today, the Sunday before the Tuesday, which is my last day, (got that?) I feel calm. C-A-L-M. Even as I had to race around today getting stuff done for my conference I’m attending this week. At a spa. (Not work, volunteer org). Even as I have spent shopping all day yesterday for bathing suits and new fat clothes, realizing I am far, far, far from the size 8 I was – all of that horrible lighting – and then all the hours I spent at my computer today prepping for meetings in a volunteer position that I am horribly just adequate in, all of that and I am still calm. (That run-on gets a medal!)

It might also be because I had the best weekend in a long time – that and my boyfriend is picking me up ice cream right now, at my request.

Greenleafgal’s Tips to have a kick ass weekend:

1. Implement Summer hours at your place of work two Fridays a month so you can leave by 3pm (you would have left earlier but are at the damn mercy of a train)
2. Date a man that calls you Friday morning to tell you he missed having dates and wanted to do a date night.
3. Agree
4. Go see Knocked Up and be pleasantly surprised then take a walk around Evanston
5. Go to Cost Plus World Market and pick out wine and laugh at the labels and have the man you are dating ask if “we” can go to your parents on Saturday instead of Sunday because he hasn’t seen them since Easter (even though you were only planning to go by yourself on Sunday because he has to work)
6. Go out to a dive bar and get a pitcher of beer and watch a new waitress try to light Sagonaki approximately FOUR times before it lit into a ball of fire you thought was a little too close to your head.
7. Then decide to go to bed early so you both can watch Family Guy reruns in bed.
8. Cuddle
9. Get up nice and early and split a box of Munchkins singing at the top of your lungs to the Spring Awakening soundtrack and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: Hammersmith Odion 1975 all the way down I-88.
10. Spend the day with your mom shopping (and crying in the dressing room when you can believe that you were affected by clothing sizes again) and getting some new clothes and shoes on their dime
11. Knowing your boyfriend is with your dad at the airfield and they are LOVING every minute of it
12. Invent a new game called Tencrosse, with your tennis racket and his lacrosse stick
13. Have a steak dinner with your parents and the man you love listening to your dad tell stories involving lobster and the Mob.
14. Drive home with your boyfriend telling you how much fun he had
15. Knowing you only have to suck it up for only two more days and then your life will forever change.

Yeah, I think all that makes for a wonderful, non-panic attack Sunday night.

I work in a very small office, there are only 12 employees. 2 of which have been here since the inception of the company in my CEO’s kitchen.

Ironically these 2 do not get along anymore, I’d even say that both would like to see the other leave. Which, is impossible because it’s the company of one and only the other understands how to run our far-too-complicated-for-such-a-small-company IT department.

They are at a stalemate. This stalemate consists of arguing constantly. Other employees cringe in fear when they are involved in a meeting with these two because the fireworks are constant.

Today is the company’s anniversary, we had the conference room decorated with streamers and balloons and we had cake to celebrate.

Currently they took the their “private meeting” into the conference room. And among the streamers and happy anniversary signs and party hats, they are screaming at each other. I find that hilarious.

It’s muffled so we can only hear sounds, although one of my co-workers took a glass to the wall and could hear but it’s the same old stuff so she stopped.

No matter where you work, or what you do or how much you wish you could do something or work somewhere else. Just be happy you are not here with me in the middle of … crazytown.

Two full days left.

It’s been a strange couple of weeks for me. I think it started with going back down to Indiana, to where I’m going to spend the next year in grad school. The purpose of the trip was to find a place to live, but something much bigger happened. I suppose the reality of the situation hit me that this is where I’m going to live. Obviously, it’s something you think about. But when I chose the grad programs I wanted to apply to, I chose them for the program, not for the town or city that it occupies. I think, for graduate programs, that is what you have to do.

Unlike undergrad, the program is the main factor, the priority, not the extraneous information such as, does it have a winning football team (it does not, the failure in football seems to follow me), is there a good bar scene (probably not), or how great is the mall (woot for JC Penney!). I am confident in my decision to attend this program as it will allow me to have the best experience possible additionally at a lower cost and less time to complete the program (something at 29, was important to me).

This confidence, however, immediately drained as soon as I drove into town for the third time. Unlike the first two times, I wasn’t so much focused on my destination because I had been there enough to go without directions (however, not without a speeding ticket). So when I drove into town, and driving around the next day, I was looking at it with new eyes, the eyes of a future resident. And these eyes were FREAKED out.

First, I am moving from a large, Blue city in a Blue state to a small Red city in a Red State. Secondly, like much of the rural Midwest, it is a depressed town. Without the university, the town wouldn’t exist.

Now, I’m not some cosmopolitan city girl who can’t live without her martinis and brunches. In fact, I now make my own martinis and choose local organic places to eat my breakfast, if I choose. I’m also no stranger to rural college towns in the Midwest, having spent my undergraduate years in one. But it’s quite a different experience when you are spending your 4 years in a bubble. As a grad student, I made a conscious choice to live farther from campus, to commute a tad, and to separate myself alone from groups of students.

I will conclude this portion of rambling but just stating that it is hitting me that even though this is the journey I chose, and with no regrets, it is a journey I will take alone. (Well, my roommate will be coming with me, I can’t give her up, duh!) Sure, I’ll make friends with my cohort, and thanks to the wonders of facebook (which, I’m pretty sure I’m the oldest person registered) I’ve already gotten to know some of them. But it is daunting to understand how reliable I must be on myself. More than when I moved to my own place, with no help (except for the rad mover guys that showed up 2 hours late), More than when I traveled the country as a collegiate consultant and always had a warm place to stay and food provided for me, more than when I moved into my first apartment in the city into a place with 2 strangers for roommates.

Amazingly, a transformation has also happened. After 7 years of contemplating if this is the right thing for me, of wanting and craving it when times in my current career went south, I am actually doing it. A lifetime spent of regrets, and rethinking my choices and living in the past when life was easy (hah!) is gone. I have no trepidations or reluctance. My last day in corporate America is Tuesday. I have 6 weeks of packing, cleaning and spending time with those important to me. Then I’m off. My future, my journey is right ahead of me and I feel like I am on the right road, in cruise control and it is scary but exciting and wonderful all that the same time.

However, if my loans would come in like they are supposed to in the next couple of weeks, I may just be worry free!
P.S. Although I know this post was long – be thankful that I didn’t also include the other things that are making this weird, like being shunned by my boss, the boyfriend and I agreeing to stay together next year without knowing what the future might be and completely close to broke paying off my remaining debts. But that stuff, that’s all in a day’s work.

Exciting times here in greenleafgal land –

Let’s recap this weekend’s events shall we?

– Totally took 5 years off my life driving to the place I’m moving – including getting lost on the Southside, pulled over for speeding and a threat of jail, taking 6 HOURS when it should have been much, much less than that.
– Found a place to live – Praise Jebus!! Finally, people.
– Realized that all though I chose to attend this program, I didn’t choose to live in that town
– Drove through James Dean’s hometown
– Fell in love with The Crane Wife
– Saw/heard/felt MILLIONS of cicadas, including one that decided to spend its’ last days in the crevice of my trunk
– Got a sweet sunburn on my upper left arm and shoulder from driving north on Saturday afternoon
– Discovered that in this part of the world the sun doesn’t go down until 9:30pm
– Registered for my classes, I am official. Officially, however, I am freaking out.
– Got caught up on the 5 House episodes we had neglected to watch
– Went out on a “date” with a male friend, who is not my boyfriend. Tried to clear up the confusion – hey, I thought we were friends – but got a free breakfast out of it.
– Saw the p’s, reassured the p’s, received some summer clothes hand-me-ups (they are from my younger sister so it’s not down? Right?) that are pretty fly
– Missed Tony Soprano (don’t tell me! we are watching tonight) in favor of the Tony awards

Whew! I’m exhausted.

I finally saw my first cicada… on the steps of the Metra train I boarded this morning.

Not exactly how I thought it would play out. But still. I’ve seen one…

In other news, had my freak out last night, alone. Not surprising, good to just cry and get it out. Watching the end of Family Stone pushed it out of me.

I forgot how much having central air rules, now that I don’t have it.

Poor Savannah, she is just hating this heat. We moved my high powered fan into the bedroom so she is just staying in there all day.

Didn’t sleep well last night, for obvious reasons, plus the heat. I feel like a zombie right now.

And all I can think of is: 6 more weeks until I am free! And the summer is mine all day without corporate america dragging me down.

I have a dinner scheduled tonight with girlfriends that is way overdue. And boyfriend is giving me his air conditioning unit. However, he broke a couple ribs while helping to prep a summer camp to open for the season.

So there’s that…


Synopsis

musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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