Life is Busting out ALL Over!


Posted on: April 30, 2007

Well, I received my offical university ID username and email address for my new graduate school.

It’s so surreal. Part of me daydreams every DAY about what excitement awaits me and the opportunity my assistantship will give me in the field I’ve been dying to break into for years.

Then my mind naturally drifts to R – and what’s it is going to be like in a long term relationship. I’ve stopped worrying about if we are going to make it or not. It’s a waste of my time. I am going to school to complete a goal I’ve set for myself, one that has been in front of me for so long I never thought I would get to do it. I love him, he has been the only one who scaled the walls and took them down brick by brick. The walls he was able to tear down, also tore down the fear and helped me to unleash my true self and realize my dreams. The ones I was too scared to even start to reach. It’s my time now and there is no time for regret.

I’m only going to be 4 hours away. I am not naive to think I’m going to be on vacation for a year and I’ll be able to get home whenever I want. It will take work and it’s going to try my patience but I have little doubt.

I had some tripped out dreams this weekend. I was out of town and missing him, especially around the times we usually see each other and cuddle on the couch. No doubt my dreams were fed from missing him. These weren’t like my normal dreams, they almost seemed like they were scenes out of my future.

They calmed me.

That’s why I’m not worried about it.

I’m excited – I’ve got my road trip/moving/driving off into the sunset mix CD all set for the drive. I’m going to have a FAB apartment – one that will kick the crap out of these hardwood floors-laundry in the basement-old building apartments I’ve been living in.

I’ve got a mentor already for my assistantship and she cares about my growth. School is totally paid for.

And I’m ready.

Until he sends me the list of the Chicago Outdoor movies in Grant Park this summer. He says he’s sad I won’t be here for the last movie.

It’s ‘The Sound of Music’ – my all time favorite. He knows all the words. And I’m going to miss it.

The little things hurt the most.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

Tweets, Twit, Twha?

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.


%d bloggers like this: