Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Too fast

Posted on: December 20, 2006

Is this what happens as you get older, the days fly by faster and faster with a constant or decrease of accomplishment? This week was like a gust for me. blew my hair back a little but I’m in the same place. Or maybe it’s a breeze? I don’t know I’m horrible with meteorology metaphors.

Dropped the boyfriend at the airport this morning for his holiday with his family. Only 10 days and they go by so fast (again, don’t know why). I’ve always missed him when he’s gone home, naturally, but really because since now all but 3 (yes 3!!! out of about 30) of my friends are married or living with a guy, he’s the constant with communication. But I do look forward to these next two weeks. A little more freedom, I guess, but I don’t hold back any other time of year. Plus with christmas and then my birthday the week after, my time gets taken up with friends making an effort to celebrate and see me. I guess the freedom there is that I’m free all week. This sounds bad. I enjoy sitting at home watching The L Word, regaining sole ownership of the remote, allowing the cat to sleep with me, taking my lady toys out of the drawer. Actually, all things I try to do all year round, the yang to the yin of seeing him. Then going to home to see the fam and then friends – the two weeks are over. And the excitement builds… reunions are nice. Especially with him.

He gave me my christmas presents last night, which I wasn’t expecting. Our traditional compilation (refuse to call them “mix”) CDs we seem to make for each other about every two months. (I got two). Then the interesting present.

Last week, I decided that I no longer was going to buy material gifts for friends and family but donate in their name to an organization that is important to them or reflects their characteristics. (This decision was in part, after I had done some research into a pyramid scheme which my best friend has invested money and become ingrained and brainwashed – but that is another story – so I believe in this but also want to passively lead by example for her.) I had been venting all week to boyfriend about her and how she’s treated our friendship as a sales tactic – very angry and hurt. I also shared my decision to make something better out of the situation, which was to honor my friends and family by being positive within the world. (or starting a positive action)

Anyway, my final gift last night was a t-shirt that said “poverty sucks”. It’s a cool shirt – he explained to me that he had donated money in my name to an organization that fights poverty in Mexico. He showed me the website and told me that his money when to Biography Translations, which captures oral histories of the older Mexican generations.

My favorite books/documentaries/subject in the world are biographies. (For serious. As in “Okay, you choose but nothing that involves Bill Kurtis”, he’ll say. Or when I tell him I really, really like something… “More than Cold Case Files or the Biography Channel” he’ll retort) I was really touched. Then I laughed and thanked him for doing exactly what I was intending to do – honor by actions (the organization’s actions, not mine) not by materials – and he told me he had done this weeks ago. I did the math, cause I like the easy math problems, and that was well before I had made this decision regarding gift giving. He never said a word, he just listened while I got a little self righteous and cried over my fading best friend.

I looked at him and said “Weird!”. He just looked at me, smiled and said “I know.”

Crap, now I miss him.


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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