Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Smack that ass on the killer high jump

Posted on: December 11, 2006

There come a time in a relationship, after the lust stage and in the heavy development of the friendship/wow I’m really in this phase, when you and your significant other start to develop your own language. The stuff that only the two of you really understand its’ significance.

Sometimes, it’s baby talk. But for boyfriend and I, it’s more or less phrases and words that to the average intelligent human being mean nothing and possibly resonate with a lower I.Q. population.

Currently Boyfriend’s* favorite word is FUPA. I don’t think I need to educate the internet/craigslist reader on this, everyone seems to know it. I knew it and then one day I mentioned to Boyfriend – and he LOVES it. (FUPA stands for Fat Upper P***y Area) Now, I realize that I was objectifying women everywhere (including myself where FUPA has always been heavily represented, even during the skinny years) but in my defense I merely asked him if he’s ever heard of it. He had introduced me to DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend, every group of girls has one) also referred to as Coatrack. These are things he knew about in his younger promiscious days and had told me awhile back in a drunk, reminiscent convo (otherwise known as, “Let me tell you more about me through crazy stories of my college days so you can see how much I’ve evolved” talks – we’ve shared a lot through those).

I’m digressing. Anyway, he LOVES this word. Not in a degratory way but in a “Hey, look how it rolls off my tongue, so effortlessly and FUN” way. He greets me in the morning, with a “oh, FUPA’s awake” and “Yay for the FUPA!!” during exciting moments like a movie trailer of something he wants to see – I know strange. In the beginning of the FUPA obsession, I had to routinely tell him FUPA is NOT a term of endearment. He now gets it.

At any rate this is how our couple language has progressed. The beginning of our couple language consisted of the two phrases: Church! and Smack that ass on the Killer High Jump!

Church – basically started when I found it on – hilarious, look up your own name and see what people use it for, or define due to a bad relationship.

Church – means “Peace, see you later” as in “Hey dog, had fun chilling today. See you on Saturday, Church!”

Boyfriend and I LOVED this phrase, in fact we tried to make it the new catchphrase of Chicago. Unfortunately no one got it, and my friends thought it was just something Boyfriend said because he studies religion. Um, yeah. So that failed.

Then one lazy day I was trying to describe a feeling of trying to reach your goal only but doing it in a very ungraceful matter. Bottom line: You did it but it wasn’t pretty. Now, I’m not famous but I am famous with my friends for using metaphors. A lot. I use metaphors for everything in my life because I find that people do not understand the depth of my feeling. I kid, I kid. But I’m just a descriptive person.

Anyway, I was trying to describe this hard work to reach a goal to Boyfriend, and I said it’s kind of like when you smack your ass on a killer high jump but you get over it.

Well, that was the beginning – we said it all the time. We even supplied a definition: Smack that ass on a killer high jump = Well done! Much effort but awesome!

No one got it. It has not left the confines of my apartment, much to our dismay.

Boyfriend has tried others, primarily based on phrases he made from the nouns/adjectives magnet kit on my fridge.

They include:
Milk the fiddle (gets some airtime from us but not a lot)
Never put a summer sausage in your mother’s behind (went NO WHERE except for a ‘What’s this?’ from my mom when she was visiting. nice.)

Anyway, I’m thinking about making a shirt for xmas for Boyfriend (already got him a big gift so would like to do something smaller) with ‘Smack that ass on the Killer High Jump.

No point to this story but awesome idea for a gift. I’ll look in to it. Thanks, blog.

*I feel really lame for calling Boyfriend, Boyfriend. Especially because one of the most annoying characters of all time on Gilmore Girls does the same thing. But I don’t want to use his initial because I feel that makes me look like I take blogging way too seriously. I’ll think of something but I apologize to anyone who may read this and be as annoyed to the “Boyfriend” reference. Especially as it relates to Lucy, or Claire, or Pilar – whatever her name is on Gilmore Girls who calls her boyfriend, Boyfriend, to his face. And he takes it.


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musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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