Life is Busting out ALL Over!

Archive for December 2006

Saw this in another blog, and thought it’s be a great way to reflect on what was 2006.

2006: The Year.

Theme of this year: Hmm… so much happened that didn’t happen. I guess Back to the Drawing Board would be the best. Because as more changes the more I kept going back to my original idea at 23 of getting my Masters in Higher Ed. I’ve committed myself to send in my apps next month – even though I don’t feel like I’m ready – I don’t think I’ll ever be ready and I’m not going to wait.

 

Best Month of the Year: December – perhaps due to short term memory loss – no, I just enjoyed the hell out of December – felt an incredible growth with Boyfriend as our relationship has just evolved, got to see a lot of friends, heard from old friends, spent time with family. Solidified my values within my life – talk became action. Was productive and appreciated at work. Just a good damn month.

Best Day of the Year: December 16 (I think, pretty sure) Boyfriend and I just spent the entire day on the couch drinking wine, watching How I Met Your Mother season 1, ordered food in, and just cuddled. The perfect winter day.

Worst Day/Time of the Year: Jan/Feb – stuck in the hellhole of my old job with no way out – I didn’t start interviewing until March – and I just felt like everyday I was losing my soul.

Favorite Person of the Year: Wow, Boyfriend definitely takes the cake on this one but I won’t name him – even though he stuck by me through some shitty moments and truly has become one of my best friends as all my others have gotten married and seem to disappear. But I’m going to have to say my favorite people of the year are the “Applewood” crew – the girls I have known since elementary school. I grew up and changed a lot in college and really felt distance from them – but this year through weddings, birth of children, and horrible breakups among the group, I’ve really discovered what a gift of friendship I have with them. I feel closer to them than any other friendship in many respects. I’m glad to have rediscovered that.

Favorite Moment of the Year: This one is also the saddest one – it just displayed depth of soul and I’m going to leave it at that. I also want to include about the 10 different times I fell in love again throughout the year.

Favorite CD of the Year:

Going to have to go with ‘Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat’ from Carbon Leaf – just an all around great band with superior song writing – a little bias in that I get to meet the band any time they come to town but still.

Also have to say Dixie Chicks’ new one blew my mind in several directions. love women with guts.

Favorite Song of the Year: This is hard because I have a lot and also I’m introduced to a lot of new music from boyfriend that has been out awhile.

Not ready to Make Nice – Dixie Chicks The build up in the middle with the strings just kills me over and over

World Spins Madly On – The Weepies – such a pleasant surprise this band.

Peace Train – Cat Stevens – a favorite one this year for me and boyfriend complete with hand claps. God, we need a road trip.

Sexy Back – Justin Timberlake – if nothing else the man makes three piece suits hot again.

Favorite Movie: The one I discovered: Millions – it’s technically 2005. Roger Ebert named it the best movie of 2005. It is the heart and soul of the human race and I can’t get over how meaningful simple actions from children can be. Shit. I love it.

Live Show of the Year: I did not go to a single show this year – gah, I suck! I’ll go with Ben Folds from Oct 2005 – it was special for the feelings boyfriend and I shared with each other that night and reduced me to a blubbering mess.

Best Thing I Bought: My beautiful Mac ibook I bought – I had been dreaming about it for so long and it’s even better in person.

Favorite Trip:
Minneapolis reunion with CCs was the highlight – can’t go wrong with good friends and 7 bottles of wine.

Book of the Year: “Laurel Canyon” – holy hell I nutsacked this book. For boyfriend’s birthday I got a book of Lester Bangs and the sales guy recommended this one. Problem was, by the time I got home and went to sleep that night I was a 1/4 of the way done with the book. I had to wrap it and give it to him for his birthday the next day – I tried to take it back once he opened it. I had to wait until he read it but fortunately I broke him down before he could get it to it. I finished it in a span of 10 hours including working and living life.

This book is the way music history should be written – it details the neighborhood of Laurel Canyon in LA during the late 60s to present. The neighborhood was the catalyst for the folk movement becoming main stream. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, man.

 

Wow, 2007 – New Year’s is so odd for me – I mean my birthday is January 1 for christ’s sake so when you want to talk about reflective it’s like a double whammy for me.

29 on Monday. Christ, where did the time go?? I am terrified about turning 29 – 30 I can’t wait to – I’m so excited for all this growth to settle and make me feel like me… but 29 – I feel like I should have a checklist at 29 and none of my goals are checked off. Of course the goals I would have written for myself years ago are not the goals I want now so perhaps that’s a better way of looking at it. I am staring at starting all over again, being financially strapped but seeing through a path I feel like I’m called to. I guess I can’t complain about that.

I see a lot of hope in 2007 – the country is changing. Lester Bangs famous quote “I’ll see you on the long road to the middle” I think is ringing true. I have goals for myself next year but I’m afraid to set them. I don’t want to be held to a standard that I set so high for myself it’s impossible to get to.

Health, happiness and peace of mind is my wish for all of us. Have a wonderful and safe new year.

 

 

Is this what happens as you get older, the days fly by faster and faster with a constant or decrease of accomplishment? This week was like a gust for me. blew my hair back a little but I’m in the same place. Or maybe it’s a breeze? I don’t know I’m horrible with meteorology metaphors.

Dropped the boyfriend at the airport this morning for his holiday with his family. Only 10 days and they go by so fast (again, don’t know why). I’ve always missed him when he’s gone home, naturally, but really because since now all but 3 (yes 3!!! out of about 30) of my friends are married or living with a guy, he’s the constant with communication. But I do look forward to these next two weeks. A little more freedom, I guess, but I don’t hold back any other time of year. Plus with christmas and then my birthday the week after, my time gets taken up with friends making an effort to celebrate and see me. I guess the freedom there is that I’m free all week. This sounds bad. I enjoy sitting at home watching The L Word, regaining sole ownership of the remote, allowing the cat to sleep with me, taking my lady toys out of the drawer. Actually, all things I try to do all year round, the yang to the yin of seeing him. Then going to home to see the fam and then friends – the two weeks are over. And the excitement builds… reunions are nice. Especially with him.

He gave me my christmas presents last night, which I wasn’t expecting. Our traditional compilation (refuse to call them “mix”) CDs we seem to make for each other about every two months. (I got two). Then the interesting present.

Last week, I decided that I no longer was going to buy material gifts for friends and family but donate in their name to an organization that is important to them or reflects their characteristics. (This decision was in part, after I had done some research into a pyramid scheme which my best friend has invested money and become ingrained and brainwashed – but that is another story – so I believe in this but also want to passively lead by example for her.) I had been venting all week to boyfriend about her and how she’s treated our friendship as a sales tactic – very angry and hurt. I also shared my decision to make something better out of the situation, which was to honor my friends and family by being positive within the world. (or starting a positive action)

Anyway, my final gift last night was a t-shirt that said “poverty sucks”. It’s a cool shirt – he explained to me that he had donated money in my name to an organization that fights poverty in Mexico. He showed me the website and told me that his money when to Biography Translations, which captures oral histories of the older Mexican generations.

My favorite books/documentaries/subject in the world are biographies. (For serious. As in “Okay, you choose but nothing that involves Bill Kurtis”, he’ll say. Or when I tell him I really, really like something… “More than Cold Case Files or the Biography Channel” he’ll retort) I was really touched. Then I laughed and thanked him for doing exactly what I was intending to do – honor by actions (the organization’s actions, not mine) not by materials – and he told me he had done this weeks ago. I did the math, cause I like the easy math problems, and that was well before I had made this decision regarding gift giving. He never said a word, he just listened while I got a little self righteous and cried over my fading best friend.

I looked at him and said “Weird!”. He just looked at me, smiled and said “I know.”

Crap, now I miss him.

So I go outside to have a cig this afternoon – I know, I know but usually I go when I need to think or develop details for a project. It helps, seriously.

Anyway, I work in an old warehouse that has been converted into office space. However the conversion is never ending and there are constantly big huge red dumpsters near the loading docks aka my “thinking” area.

So this afternoon, I’m pacing thinking about how I want to blow out this marketing plan – when this voice says “Hey, aren’t you glad it’s nice out today?”

Now, I’m not taken aback by this because I usually am friendly with the construction guys around the building and just thought it was the usual small talk from them.

Except I look up – and directly in front of me is the red dumpster with a homeless guy sitting on the side with his legs in the dumpster. For a second I thought it was Jimmy Cricket (except not an insect or a cartoon). So I am taken aback.

Me: Yeah (startled)
Guy: Well, it’s probably nice you don’t have to wear your fur coat to come outside.
Me: Well, I wouldn’t wear a fur coat but yes, I like that it’s not raining (Why I am trying to prove my social advocacy??) It’s supposed to be 50 degrees on Friday (What??)
Guy: Man, that snow we got last week and it was 87 degrees in Florida, I thought to myself, “I am in the WRONG place!”
Me: Give Global Warming a few years and I’m sure we won’t be far off. (Again with the social advocacy!)
Guy: Yeah, Yeah I know. But remember when it was several days of 100 degrees this summer
Me: (No) Nods
Guy: I was saying I wouldn’t ever curse the cold weather again (Grabs a large pipe and places it in his shopping cart) but I’m afraid lighting might strike me down.
Me: Yeah, I know what you mean (No, I don’t.)

The guy went back to his metal salvaging and I went back to trying to think and then realized I was done smoking so I went inside.

I don’t know what it is, but I get into conversations with random strangers all the time – not the kind while you are standing in line in the grocery store – although I’ve done that too – but I am asked at least twice a week for directions. It’s crazy. My mom says it’s because I look nice and cute. Awww… thanks Mom.

I wish I would have done participated in a more constructive conversation with this guy – ask him if he was okay, did he have a place to stay? But no, my first instinct is to become the neighborhood social advocate. Oh well.

There come a time in a relationship, after the lust stage and in the heavy development of the friendship/wow I’m really in this phase, when you and your significant other start to develop your own language. The stuff that only the two of you really understand its’ significance.

Sometimes, it’s baby talk. But for boyfriend and I, it’s more or less phrases and words that to the average intelligent human being mean nothing and possibly resonate with a lower I.Q. population.

Currently Boyfriend’s* favorite word is FUPA. I don’t think I need to educate the internet/craigslist reader on this, everyone seems to know it. I knew it and then one day I mentioned to Boyfriend – and he LOVES it. (FUPA stands for Fat Upper P***y Area) Now, I realize that I was objectifying women everywhere (including myself where FUPA has always been heavily represented, even during the skinny years) but in my defense I merely asked him if he’s ever heard of it. He had introduced me to DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend, every group of girls has one) also referred to as Coatrack. These are things he knew about in his younger promiscious days and had told me awhile back in a drunk, reminiscent convo (otherwise known as, “Let me tell you more about me through crazy stories of my college days so you can see how much I’ve evolved” talks – we’ve shared a lot through those).

I’m digressing. Anyway, he LOVES this word. Not in a degratory way but in a “Hey, look how it rolls off my tongue, so effortlessly and FUN” way. He greets me in the morning, with a “oh, FUPA’s awake” and “Yay for the FUPA!!” during exciting moments like a movie trailer of something he wants to see – I know strange. In the beginning of the FUPA obsession, I had to routinely tell him FUPA is NOT a term of endearment. He now gets it.

At any rate this is how our couple language has progressed. The beginning of our couple language consisted of the two phrases: Church! and Smack that ass on the Killer High Jump!

Church – basically started when I found it on urbandictionary.com – hilarious, look up your own name and see what people use it for, or define due to a bad relationship.

Church – means “Peace, see you later” as in “Hey dog, had fun chilling today. See you on Saturday, Church!”

Boyfriend and I LOVED this phrase, in fact we tried to make it the new catchphrase of Chicago. Unfortunately no one got it, and my friends thought it was just something Boyfriend said because he studies religion. Um, yeah. So that failed.

Then one lazy day I was trying to describe a feeling of trying to reach your goal only but doing it in a very ungraceful matter. Bottom line: You did it but it wasn’t pretty. Now, I’m not famous but I am famous with my friends for using metaphors. A lot. I use metaphors for everything in my life because I find that people do not understand the depth of my feeling. I kid, I kid. But I’m just a descriptive person.

Anyway, I was trying to describe this hard work to reach a goal to Boyfriend, and I said it’s kind of like when you smack your ass on a killer high jump but you get over it.

Well, that was the beginning – we said it all the time. We even supplied a definition: Smack that ass on a killer high jump = Well done! Much effort but awesome!

No one got it. It has not left the confines of my apartment, much to our dismay.

Boyfriend has tried others, primarily based on phrases he made from the nouns/adjectives magnet kit on my fridge.

They include:
Milk the fiddle (gets some airtime from us but not a lot)
Never put a summer sausage in your mother’s behind (went NO WHERE except for a ‘What’s this?’ from my mom when she was visiting. nice.)

Anyway, I’m thinking about making a shirt for xmas for Boyfriend (already got him a big gift so would like to do something smaller) with ‘Smack that ass on the Killer High Jump.

No point to this story but awesome idea for a gift. I’ll look in to it. Thanks, blog.

*I feel really lame for calling Boyfriend, Boyfriend. Especially because one of the most annoying characters of all time on Gilmore Girls does the same thing. But I don’t want to use his initial because I feel that makes me look like I take blogging way too seriously. I’ll think of something but I apologize to anyone who may read this and be as annoyed to the “Boyfriend” reference. Especially as it relates to Lucy, or Claire, or Pilar – whatever her name is on Gilmore Girls who calls her boyfriend, Boyfriend, to his face. And he takes it.

1. Being Cranky
2. Making money mistakes
3. Having a non stop headache
4. Unable to find the bottle of Advil, when you know you *had* it weeks ago and it was full.
5. general housework including picking up, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom.
6. E!, when I count on it to have mindless TV and it’s stuff I hate
7. Lo mein reheated
8. Cleaning the litterbox
9. Sunday night, with nothing to show for the weekend.
10.. Boyfriend having a busier weekend than I and clearly enjoying it.

All this clearly relates to #1. I’m so sad tomorrow is Monday *sniff*

But you know the one thing that cheers me up? Hearing “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” that song just cures everything for me.

and probably a sign I need a life.

I am captivated by John Edwards, the psychic medium that speaks to dead people.

I just watched one of his shows and it focused on a family who had their oldest son die at 18, his spirit came thru when John was talking to his AUNT at one show – then John invited the original mom and dad to one his shows and he came thru AGAIN, but they were too emotional to realize it until later. I was crying. I suck at life.

It makes me curious though, I am going to a party in Jan with best friend – another friend’s parents are having a two day party with a psychic that speaks to dead people. Apparently this person’s mom was a skeptic but got turned around.

Anyway, so I was invited and got a reservation and will shell out $65 to see this psychic. I’m not telling Boyfriend this – he doesn’t believe in any spirits or anything AND he’s getting a PhD in religious studies. So he believes in Heaven but not the “other side”? Hm… hypocritcal much?

I wonder what he’d think if his dad came through? Skeptic NO MORE! Love me some family drama. But it should be interesting.


Synopsis

musings and panic attacks of a Chicago girl embarking on a new life in Texas. Only it's not always June and it's not in song.

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